I don't think I'm going to ever get married. I'd like to, of course. But I don't think I will. Why? Simply because I don't like trusting someone so deeply, so completely...and with something so vulnerable as your heart, your very soul. I can't bring myself to do that.
I'm like the dumb girl in the romance novel, the one who has this gorgeous, wonderful Prince Charming at her fingertips, running after her with a bouquet of roses, but she turns and gets on the plane anyway, leaving him "forever".
Only, in my story...she does leave forever.
And goes on with her life, doing the things she feels God has called her to, living life to the fullest, and loving the people that go in and out of her life, trusting her friends with the little things, but no one with everything. Its dangerous, she thinks. And it is.
I have a problem with crushes. You know, those little flutters where you think you like a boy, you like being with him, thinking about him, the way he makes you smile and "accidently" touches your arm.
I get them occasionally.
But by the end...I talk myself out of them. Nothing is worth getting my heart broken for. If I don't have a date to the dances I enjoy so much because of it, so what? If I go to prom with...me, myself and I, so what? Dating is overrated. Loving someone is beautiful, but I'll stick with a maternal, or sisterly kind of love.
The second I think I have a crush - I do my best and obsess over finding out whether it will work or not. I refuse to waste any of my time just, mooning over this boy. Eventually, when I've flirted or spied my fill, I move on. I feel a great sense of relief that it is over, this horrible, horrible thing called a "crush". Why is it called a "crush" ? Because it "crushes" you.
Basically.
I'm not pessimistic, just realistic.
I'm done with Edwardo, because he doesn't like me. Period. End of Story. The End.
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I wear my green earrings on special days, and only when they match. Wouldn't it be great if guys were like that too?
Jay
About Me
- Jay
- I'm a girl, and I thought I'd entertain you with my antics on here.
1 comment:
Jay darling!! I know that putting yourself out on the line can hurt...trust me I do! But what is love without risk! Love is not foolproof for we are only man! There is only one who can love us unconditionally with no faults and that is God and God alone! So, if you are looking for perfection...I am sorry to say...but there is no "perfect" guy! This is being realistic...but I have one quarrel with your argument! You say you do not trust...but what is life without trust? If you only have yourself...then you force yourself to live a lonely life not just void of boys but of others as well! I know that trusting people is a tough thing to do! I struggle with it all the time! Who do you tell what? What all do you reveal...? But living a life in fear of rejection is no life! Fear of rejection leads to lonliness! When you take a chance and the bad comes your way...that only makes the good even better! That is what makes true love, true love! God has a man out there for you! You might not see it now but he is there. And the love that you desire...the unconditional love that creates trust will not be found in him...but through his love of Christ poured out through him onto you! And vice versa! So, do not be so pessimistic my dear friend! And who is to say that pedro or whoever you called him does not like you? And if he does not you know that he is not the one and the perfect one...I mean the one planned by God especially for you...is ten times better! Love ya girl!! Tree #3
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